How Santa Prepares for the Most Magical Flight of the Year

Ah, Christmas Eve! The one night a year when Santa trades in his cosy red armchair and hot cocoa for a cockpit view of the entire globe.

But let’s not kid ourselves—getting ready for a sleigh ride that spans billions of rooftops isn’t as simple as jingling some bells. Oh no. Santa’s sleigh prep is a high-stakes operation that would make even the most seasoned airline pilot blush.

Here’s a sneak peek into the “North Pole Flight Operations Command Centre,” aka Santa’s workshop, as the man in red gears up for takeoff.

1. Pre-Flight Sleigh Inspection

Before even thinking about lift-off, Santa grabs his clipboard (yes, it’s red and white) and heads out to the sleigh for a thorough inspection.

Reindeer Engine Check: Each reindeer is examined for optimal performance. Are Dasher’s antlers aerodynamic? Does Blitzen have enough carbs in his system to sustain warp speed? Is Rudolph’s nose battery at full charge? Santa leaves no hoof unturned.
Sleigh Hull Integrity: You can’t have a sleigh wobbling mid-air, so Santa taps it like a professional pilot testing the wing of a 747. Any creaks or loose jingle bells? Mrs. Claus has speed tape on standby.

2. Weight and Balance Calculations

You think Santa can just load up all those toys willy-nilly? Hardly. He’s got an iPad for this stuff.

Cargo Distribution: Heavy items (we’re looking at you, gaming consoles) go toward the back, while lighter packages balance the front. Santa still has nightmares about the Great Tipping Incident of 1987.
Reindeer Load Capacity: If Cupid’s been sneaking extra cookies in the stable, Santa makes note and adjusts the flight plan accordingly. No one likes an overworked reindeer.

3. Weather Briefing

Santa’s sleigh doesn’t come with autopilot, so he needs to be aware of the skies ahead. He checks in with the North Pole Weather Authority (aka Frosty the Snowman, part-time meteorologist).

Turbulence: High winds over the Rockies? No problem. Santa’s got a “hold onto your hat” manoeuvre for that.
Snowstorms: Good thing he’s got Rudolph’s high-beam nose. It's even EASA-approved!
Chimney Congestion: Frosty warns Santa to avoid a few neighbourhoods where chimney repairs have resulted in dangerously narrow landings.

4. De-Icing the Sleigh

Even Santa's sleigh needs a good de-icing before departure. This year, the elves upgraded the de-icer to a cinnamon-scented spray. Santa says it makes the sleigh smell like roasted chestnuts, which is great for morale.

5. Final Checklist

With the reindeer harnessed, the gift bag secured, and Santa’s own hat snug on his head, it’s time for the final walk-around. He mutters to himself:

"Sleigh fuel topped up?" (Translation: Are the reindeer well-fed?) Check.
"Cookies onboard?" Check. Santa’s got an emergency stash in case he gets peckish between continents.
"Ho-Ho-Ho systems operational?" Check. (It’s not just a laugh; it’s a frequency used to communicate with elves on the ground!)

6. Takeoff Clearance

Santa checks in with Elf Control: "North Pole Tower, this is Sleigh One requesting clearance for departure." The elves reply: "Sleigh One, you are cleared for takeoff. Runway Frosty is all yours. Have a holly jolly flight, Captain Claus!"

7. In-Flight Entertainment

Santa keeps himself entertained on long hauls with a playlist of holiday classics ("Jingle Bell Rock" is his go-to for turbulence) and podcasts about cookie recipes. And yes, he’s that pilot who gives mid-flight announcements:

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. If you look out your window, you’ll see the Northern Lights sparkling beautifully. Also, thanks for leaving out cookies—I’m giving tonight’s snack selection five stars!”

8. Post-Landing Procedures

After touching down on the roof, Santa completes his "final approach" checklist: secure the sleigh, triple-check the naughty/nice list, and deliver gifts with military precision. Then it’s back to the skies for the next house on the list.

By sunrise, Santa’s mission is complete, and he parks the sleigh back at the Pole for another year. As he pats Rudolph on the head and hangs up his boots, Santa thinks to himself: another year well done.